When You’re the Only Single One

Guard Your Heart

Have you ever looked around at your close circle of friends and realized you’re the only one still single—only to find yourself praying that infamous prayer, “God, can You please do for me what You’ve done for them?” I know I have. And if I’m being honest, I noticed my heart slowly shifting from a place of gratitude to one of envy.

Now, let me clarify—I said envy, not jealousy. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, envy is “a painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another, accompanied by a desire to possess the same advantage.” Jealousy, on the other hand, refers to “hostility toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage.” My desire wasn’t to compete, but to experience the same joy and companionship—specifically marriage—that I see my friends enjoying.

This year, God has brought new women into my life—women I’m growing to love as sisters in Christ. Through their stories and the way they walk through marriage with faith and grace, I’ve seen a beautiful picture of what it means to be a woman of God. The more time I spend with them, the more inspired I become—not just to be married, but to become the kind of woman who is spiritually prepared for marriage. My thoughts are shifting, and so are my desires.

Proverbs 22:24–25 (NLT) warns us:
“Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.”

In moments of vulnerability, the enemy often uses our emotions against us—slowly twisting disappointment into envy, and envy into jealousy.

Rebuking Envy and Embracing Contentment

The story of Adam and Eve reminds us how easily unguarded desire can be manipulated. In Genesis 3, the serpent takes advantage of Eve’s curiosity and distorts God’s words. Although God clearly instructed Adam and Eve not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:16–17), the serpent deceives Eve, saying, “You won’t die! God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4–5)

As we read on, Eve is convinced. She longs for wisdom that was never meant to be taken—only received from God (Genesis 3:6). It’s a powerful reminder of how desire, when left unguarded, can lead us away from God’s best.

Envy doesn’t stop there. Genesis 4 tells the story of Cain and Abel—two brothers with different callings. Cain was a farmer, and Abel a shepherd (Genesis 4:2). When they presented offerings to the Lord, God accepted Abel’s but not Cain’s. Cain allowed envy to take root, and it ultimately led him to kill his brother (Genesis 4:5–8).

This shows us just how destructive envy can be—even when it begins quietly.

As God continues to surround me with married women, I’m learning to embrace this season of singleness more fully. It has become a season of learning—about covenant, commitment, and God’s original design for marriage.

Matthew 19:5–6 (NLT) reminds us:
“This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one… Let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

Marriage is sacred. It is not something to rush simply because we desire companionship.

Paul even reminds us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that “those who marry will face many troubles in this life.” Even God-ordained marriages come with challenges. Choosing the right partner doesn’t eliminate hardship—it ensures that your foundation is built on Christ.

So choose contentment in the season God has called you to—because it is temporary. Use this time intentionally to build community, deepen your faith, and guard your heart. Your life is happening now. Don’t allow longing for the future to rob you of the beauty God is creating in the present.

---